THE ADULT GIRL’S GUIDE TO MAKING FRIENDS
Making friends as an adult can feel weirdly complicated. Unlike childhood or college, where friendships seemed to form effortlessly, adult life is packed with responsibilities, careers, and routines that leave little room for spontaneous social bonding. But here’s the thing—friendship doesn’t have an expiration date, and making new connections is totally possible (and even fun) with the right mindset.
Whether you’re starting fresh in a new city, outgrown certain friendships, or just want to expand your social circle, know this: you are not alone. Many women struggle with building connections beyond their twenties, but the good news? It’s 100% possible to create meaningful friendships at any stage of life. From navigating social anxiety to finding the right places to meet like-minded women, I am breaking down practical ways to cultivate genuine, fulfilling friendships—no awkward small talk required. Let’s dive in!
STEP 1: SHIFT YOUR MINDSET ABOUT MAKING FRIENDS
First things first—making friends as an adult isn’t weird. It’s actually incredibly normal. The idea that we’re supposed to have a solid friend group by our 30s (or earlier) is outdated. People grow, change, and move, and that means our friendships evolve too!
Mindset Shifts to Adopt
Friendship isn’t about quantity; it’s about quality. A few close, genuine connections are better than a large, shallow social circle.
Making friends takes effort. Just like dating, friendship requires putting yourself out there and showing up.
Rejection is not personal. Not every friendship will click—and that’s okay. Keep trying!
STEP 2: PUT YOURSELF IN THE RIGHT PLACES
You won’t make new friends if you don’t go where the people are. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to meet like-minded women, even if you’re more introverted.
Best Places to Meet New Friends
Hobby-Based Groups: Join a book club, a hiking group, or an art class. Shared interests create easy conversation starters.
Church: Many churches have social events, small groups, or volunteer opportunities that make it easier to connect with others. Plus, since people are often there for a sense of community, it can be a welcoming environment.
Workout Classes or Studios: Pilates, dance, or even a local running club—these spaces attract repeat attendees, making it easier to bond.
Community Events: Check out networking events, craft fairs, or public lectures in your city.
Volunteering: Helping a cause you care about naturally connects you with like-minded people.
MY PEOPLE TIP: If you’re nervous about attending something alone, challenge yourself to stay for just 30 minutes. Chances are, you’ll stay longer once you start talking to people!
STEP 3: MAKE THE FIRST MOVE (YES, REALLY!)
The hardest part? Taking that first step to actually start a conversation. But think about it—how would you feel if someone genuinely wanted to connect with you? Probably flattered!
Easy Ways to Start a Friendship
Give a compliment: “I love your sweater! Where did you get it?”
Find common ground: “Have you been coming to this pilates class for a while?”
Ask for advice: “I’m new to this city—do you have any favorite restaurants?”
Follow up: “I had so much fun chatting today! Want to grab coffee next week?”
MY PEOPLE TIP: Treat making friends like planting seeds. Some will grow quickly, others will take time—but consistent effort leads to real connections. Check out my free conversation starters guide!
STEP 4: NURTURE THE FRIENDSHIP
Making a friend is just the beginning—now comes the part where you keep the connection alive! Friendship, like any relationship, requires mutual effort.
How to Strengthen a New Friendship
Be the one to initiate plans. If you wait for the other person, the friendship might fade. Send a text, make a plan, and follow through!
Celebrate their wins. Support them in their successes, big or small.
Be vulnerable. Friendships deepen when you share your real thoughts and experiences.
Check in regularly. A simple “Thinking of you!” text can mean a lot.
MY PEOPLE TIP: If you’re worried about being “too much,” remember—most people want deeper friendships but don’t know how to initiate them.
STEP 5: KNOW WHAT FRIENDSHIPS TO WALK AWAY FROM
Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and that’s okay. If a friendship feels one-sided or draining it may be time to let go.
Signs a Friendship May Be Fizzling Out
They only reach out when they need something.
You feel exhausted or anxious after spending time together.
The relationship lacks mutual effort.
It is important to know the difference between when your friend is in a difficult place and needs more attention than they can give. Being a good friend means being there for them on the fun days and the dark days. There is a balance when it comes to knowing when to press in and when to let go.
MY PEOPLE TIP: Ending a friendship doesn’t have to be dramatic. Sometimes, naturally creating distance is enough. Prioritize friendships that bring you joy, fulfillment, and growth.
FINAL THOUGHTS: FRIENDSHIP IS WORTH THE EFFORT
Making friends as an adult does take effort, but the reward—being known, seen, and loved—is so worth it. Be patient with yourself, stay open to new connections, and remember that friendships (like all good things) take time to grow.
So go ahead—send the text, join the group, and put yourself out there. Your future bestie might be one conversation away!
You got this! xoxo
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